The Love chapter….
In the Bible it says what love is, directly. It’s patient, kind, doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud, isn’t rude or self-seeking, isn’t easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil, rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, and never Ever Fails. (my abbreviated paraphrasing)
Well, as it is, I’m still hoping to move out of Ohio soon. My darling husband doesn’t ever want to move. He’s happy in his Ohio job. Biblically, as the wife, I should submit, right? I am having trouble with this. Though it is Summer, I know Winter is coming. Me and my imagination can just picture what I’d do differently this time, in the state that I want to live in. I can picture lots of things. I long for this life. Then, I think of the Love chapter.
Early in a marriage, people can be so lovey-dovey that they overlook moments of unkindness, moments of self-seeking, anger, not feeling totally protected, and so on. A couple kisses and makes up. That’s great. This is awesome in a Christ-based marriage. Then, situations change. Life starts throwing curveballs and roadmaps that were never expected so soon. I’m thinking of a very jerky roller coaster ride at the amusement park. These things happen, and there really is not amusement involved at all. A couple has to hold on for all they are worth and hold fast to Jesus.
We are holding fast. Our love hasn’t failed. My self-seeking wants to move. My husband’s self-seeking wants to stay in the nice job he enjoys, keep working with both his sons, and linger long enough to get a nice pension from this job. That is an ideal situation if he was single or totally “separated.” How do we rejoice in truth?? How do we rejoice in the truth of wanting different things?
I, daily, feel like we are oil and water. My husband is barely home: awake: 2 hours of each day and has to sleep. He does the lawn business also, because he’s committed to it and has given it to God.
I just know I could go live in an over 55 community and have more easy access to humans.
There was half a plan that my husband’s son would move his family into our Ohio home and pay rent to us, or just pay the mortgage company. They sort of want to move away from where they are living now. It seems all 6 humans involved in this story are fearful to change up the situation as it is now. I see the perfect opportunity coming in 17 days, as we will get the money for the selling of the campsite and I can take the 14,000 right down to where I want to live. I can make a deposit on a place. I can make arrangements with owners, as to making the payments/financing.
Am I being rude? (as well as easily angered) Dear Jesus….
Oh! Here’s some interesting side info. The pastor of our church, who counseled us, asks every week, “how things are going”. We smile and say fine. We are together. You see, if we are together, I’m not out of this state. That means we are not fine as an agreeable couple. We are coexisting as oil and water. Each day goes by and there’s no sign of my getting closer to my moving, my kindness is slipping away. (total transparency)