Fourteen

Fourteen thousand dollars!

Yes, we are going to get that much money in less than 5 days. I have spent the money in my head several times. I’ve imagined how I’d move to the state I love to live in.  Since I love to write and make lists, I’ve listed and calculated how the monthly bills would be and every detail. I’ve imagined my new life with the sense of community I lack and desperately seek. I’ve prayed. I’ve sought God. I’ve talked to God about my hubby’s part in all this plan of mine. I’ve lost sleep…. Get the picture?!?!?

Alas, don’t you know what reality will be, though? I, the submissive wife, will submit. Before, when there was talk of a 5 year plan, that seemed unbelievably hard to fathom. Now, there’s a more simple 1 year plan. We will strive to turn the 14,000 into 70,000 in a year: then the move South will come.

A more “simple plan”?  There are approximately 330 days till “plan” can take effect. What can I do to make time speed by??

I’m reminded of the song by the group Lincoln Park. (remember them?) “In The End” had lyrics like “I’ve tried so hard and come so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.” The lead singer of these lyrics ended up killing himself.

What’s it matter? I’ll keep my anonymous blog and I’ll hang in there 330 days. Perhaps I’ll get more involved in church. For a while, there was a thought I’d get a paying job. I’ve applied some places, but seems I’m hard to hire.Soften the days?????????

“Fill the days, oh God”…………….

Haggaii 2: 9

As I turn my eyes upon Jesus, I’m reminded of Haggaii 2: 9. “The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former, says the Lord of Hosts. And in this place I will provide peace, declares the LORD of Hosts.” I’m taking this as the latter part of my life will be greater than the first part. Thanks God. I am claiming this promise!

1 Corinthians 13: 4

The Love chapter….

In the Bible it says what love is, directly. It’s patient, kind, doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud, isn’t rude or self-seeking, isn’t easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil, rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, and never Ever Fails. (my abbreviated paraphrasing)

Well, as it is, I’m still hoping to move out of Ohio soon. My darling husband doesn’t ever want to move. He’s happy in his Ohio job. Biblically, as the wife, I should submit, right? I am having trouble with this. Though it is Summer, I know Winter is coming. Me and my imagination can just picture what I’d do differently this time, in the state that I want to live in. I can picture lots of things. I long for this life. Then, I think of the Love chapter.

Early in a marriage, people can be so lovey-dovey that they overlook moments of unkindness, moments of self-seeking, anger, not feeling totally protected, and so on. A couple kisses and makes up. That’s great. This is awesome in a Christ-based marriage. Then, situations change. Life starts throwing curveballs and roadmaps that were never expected so soon. I’m thinking of a very jerky roller coaster ride at the amusement park. These things happen, and there really is not amusement involved at all. A couple has to hold on for all they are worth and hold fast to Jesus.

We are holding fast. Our love hasn’t failed. My self-seeking wants to move. My husband’s self-seeking wants to stay in the nice job he enjoys, keep working with both his sons, and linger long enough to get a nice pension from this job. That is an ideal situation if he was single or totally “separated.” How do we rejoice in truth?? How do we rejoice in the truth of wanting different things?

I, daily, feel like we are oil and water. My husband is barely home: awake: 2 hours of each day and has to sleep. He does the lawn business also, because he’s committed to it and has given it to God.

I just know I could go live in an over 55 community and have more easy access to humans.

There was half a plan that my husband’s son would move his family into our Ohio home and pay rent to us, or just pay the mortgage company. They sort of want to move away from where they are living now. It seems all 6 humans involved in this story are fearful to change up the situation as it is now. I see the perfect opportunity coming in 17 days, as we will get the money for the selling of the campsite and I can take the 14,000 right down to where I want to live. I can make a deposit on a place. I can make arrangements with owners, as to making the payments/financing.

Am I being rude? (as well as easily angered) Dear Jesus….

Oh! Here’s some interesting side info. The pastor of our church, who counseled us, asks every week, “how things are going”. We smile and say fine. We are together. You see, if we are together, I’m not out of this state. That means we are not fine as an agreeable couple. We are coexisting as oil and water. Each day goes by and there’s no sign of my getting closer to my moving, my kindness is slipping away. (total transparency)

Ag!!

Dear Jesus!!!!

“Bows and Arrows”

The idea of a bow shooting an arrow out into the world to continue the work the bow started out doing, is a cool idea. (Pastor Barry Clardy) The “bow” is older and has had more experiences. In theory, the “bow” is a more seasoned/mature Christian and has weathered the storms the arrow will go forth and one day face. The arrow watches and learns. The “arrow” takes over when the “bow” is old, weary, about to pass on to heaven.

Generation to generation the lessons and experiences are passed down. Each generation adds his own unique tidbits.

Blessings are passed down too. We thank God for them. We pray we are able to pass down legacies of blessings to others.

While looking back on our Florida experiences, we thank God for the many lives we touched in 9 years. We admire the lives we’ve touched, and been touched by, in Ohio. We pray the good will remain after we depart. From family, lessons with the lawns, work ethic, cooking for big numbers of people, giving, and a love for God…we pray the “arrows” continue on in a big way.

Another Adventure?!?

He loves me. We had our anniversary and he is promising we can move back down south.I pray he won’t regret, nor resent this one day. What all would getting ready to move and downsize again entail??I’m thinking: to show the house, we need to take 5 cats to the Humane Society and commit. We’d be moving to a home owners association place where the maximum number of cats is 2. We had a nice anniversary, by the way. We didn’t really do anything too spectacular…. We need to sell the double campsite 40 minutes away: including cedar chest and some tools.Hubby says we need to have a yard sale here and get rid of the piano, some tools, books and cases,… Hubby says I would be the one to get to drive down and pick the place, leave my car, fly back, have finishing touches here, drive the Dodge Ram truck the 1000 mile trip while he drives the U-haul. My idea is to have all this done before the next 4 months are over with. My hubby wants to finish putting in the toilet/bathroom downstairs, here, so folks will want to buy the place immediately. We would be moving to a place with no basement, no garage, only a carport, a community swimming pool/gym/clubs/socializing….. He wants to keep his zero turn mower and some lawn customers. He would have to find a full time job. He thinks he may get back on with the schools. (Hernando County)  Alas, we know, my hubby isn’t getting any younger, so when he comes home from work now, he relaxes. He doesn’t start in on any of this prep. The whole idea seems so VAGUE…. (merely a dream?)

We put out the fleece (Biblical term) as far as “if we got a loan (not really debt consolidation, but sort of) that would be the go ahead on moving South again…Hmmm.. we got the loan. I prayed we would. I prayed Dr. Steele wouldn’t get his job in CA. too. (too many earthquakes and just too mucha too mucha) Dr. Steele says he probably didn’t get the job… Thanks for answered prayer, God.  Now, about this “adventure”…..

Current Catch Phrase in Churches

Have you heard people in church, from the pulpits, say, “Thanks for doing life with us”?

Doing life with us….Let me think about that. It seems very honorable. It seems like something Jesus did.

Yes, I hear people in church ask for prayer for healing, sickness concerning loved ones, traveling mercies and more: BUT what about real down to the nitty gritty life stuff?

As I am reading Perry Stone, Jr.’s book: “Feeding Demons”, I relate to the fact that there are spirits of, well many things, in today’s church. Being that my mother taught me pride and shame, I’m saddened that hurting people can’t go to church and tell their “church family” they are hurting. Don’t get me wrong, I have heard some people who never have positivity and always have pitiful things going on in their lives. They share this so often, we almost hate to see them approach us. Isn’t God ever doing Anything good in your life?(you want to ask) You are here, standing and speaking to me right now. That’s something to be grateful to God for.

The spirit of pride will keep a “church family member” from sharing their heart to a listening ear at church. Even if they do share a bit, the response can be a pitiful look and the words “I’ll pray for you”. But as soon as the listener leaves the hurting soul’s presence, they forget to pray and are happy to be away from the negative words. I must confess I do know some true Christians who will take the time and pray right then and there with the hurting person. Thank God for them.

One instance I can think of, a lady who was married more than 3 times in her life. Her current marriage is difficult for her right now because of some hard to manage differences she and her husband have. Now, she attends church with her smile on her face. She sings and goes through the motions. God speaks to her in the message and she gets fed. She goes to her car and questions God as per the message she just learned from, and her circumstances. She’s not able to do life with her fellow church members because the ones she is friendly with are just “Hi! How ya doin'” folk. They don’t want to really hear how she’s doing. They probably have troubles of their own. They don’t have time for her when she invites them to coffee or to her picnic type events.

Are we all so busy? Do we really not care about others? Do we really have spirits of shame, pride, envy, sloth and whatever else? These spirits don’t mind attending church, ya know. Ephesians 6: 12 reminds us “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Let’s take a moment and pray for the ones who are combating the spirits of strife in marriage. Let’s take Authority over these spirits in Jesus’ name and let’s make a point to try to do better at “sharing life together”.

God is love. He wants us to share ourselves…….

Shout out to Evangelist Perry Stone

He reminds us that we shout to the Lord with praise. There are other kinds of shouts in God’s presence too. We can shout for joy. We can shout for Victory. We can shout as a battle cry. We can shout as a cry out loud.

“Victory has a big mouth”. Death is swallowed up in victory. We are overcomers by the word of our testimony. Death, where is thy sting? (1 Corinthians 15: 55)

Pastor Stone dissected the meanings behind shouting and dancing in praise. He explored the difference between praise and worship, in great detail. I really appreciated this.

I’m a bit reserved in church. When instructed to “give a shout to the Lord”, I do give a big “Whewwww!” (which is more than some do, and less than some)  BUT, I realized, today as I was shouting a big “Hey!” to the cats, I was declaring to them to behave.

We can liken this to shouting for Victory and against the Enemy of our souls. “Hey! The victory has been won. You have to leave me alone! I resist you in the name of Jesus and with the power of His blood.”   Graceful and feminine though I am….I will shout before the Lord (in His sanctuary) more often……….

1Day Life With…

One day I’ll have a life with my wife

One day I won’t have to work ALL the time

One day, our lives will be our own

One day, our days, we won’t have to groan.

Business to tend to, money to earn—all the money- we just seem to burn

Curtail our spending, enrich our home–Gee, we hope we get this loan.

Messes everywhere- junk to straighten, animals to tend to—-Boy! She’s a hatin’.

Tensions high-seems nothings getting done, the more I work, the more I run.

Running, working, collapsing, sleeping– all the while our house she’s keeping

She makes the house a “home” I say, but in her solitude, she wonders why to stay:

where she knows she doesn’t want to be, she desires warmth and more sanitar-y.If she’s going to be alone either way, why to stay? Why to stay??

Not as young as I used to was, I wear myself out and can’t do more in the “home”.

HOME? She says she feels like it’s the pumpkin shell, where I keep her very well.

Used to say “Time will tell, time will tell, God is good, all is well…..”

Got a little counsel, couldn’t put it fully into play.

Others tear at my time and we don’t have time to sit and pray,……together as One.

Things to be done, gotta learn the new job, gotta train the fellas for the lawns and the odd job and….never done

Downsize she says. Simplify she says. I don’t have the time or energy to sort and make the house a Good Housekeeping page….bills to pay, money is my lure.

We married and I told her I work a lot. She heard “things we gotta get got”.

No! We are curtailing now, but my nose is still at the plow.

Warm, sunny,  is where she wants to be, to start a life– with a community.

Pool, Bingo, Book Club, socials, and more, only a few steps from her door.

Her little, quaint place with not a pillow out of place. Simple, mostly alone as she’s always been.

Oh! But don’t tell my folks! They always did make the jokes….about her wanting to be where it’s warm. They had concern when I said I was transporting her to the Northern harm.

They know of her discontent. They know I’m a great guy and am the best “catch” she’ll ever have met.

They get indignant with her desire to keep out of the cold. Fifty degrees isn’t a mess to contend with: her body is just old.

Wait!! She and I understand each other. Life without her would be such a bother.

Maybe I should get some energy drinks and go 24/7.

Maybe the purchase of the campsite to increase our bills wasn’t such a good idea….hopefully, the family (I got it for the whole family) will purchase it from me and take over the bills.

What am I saying: the entire family has money ills.

I have decisions to make.Sell everything and start life again where she wants to be(I get so over-heated there, I believe I’ll be ill), file bankruptcy, downsize/clean the clutter, promise to do better, make time for taking walks together…..

Oh! If I slow down and our money is under control, I won’t have to go 90 miles a minute and I may not over-heat. I can take off my man bra and be cooler, too. I can just let my hair down and live easy. Perhaps we can go fishing.

Retirement would be ideal, but that’s a few years away. My body sure would like to retire, though……

Dear God, I pray, Dear Lord,….You know my heart and Ohhhhhhhh

Guide me, lead me, help me……..my future, You know.

You put the wife and me together, she has her health and desires…….are we gonna be put asunder??

Help……… In Jesus’ name….

Christian Pals blog

Recommending a Christian blog site I came across. These folks are promoting the love of God and the saving nature of Jesus Christ.

I went on a vacation, flew safely, attended a party for my son and flew back home. God kept us safe. We were blessed to come across a Christ based blog site I can tell you about and have you check into.

God is faithful

Going on vacation

In 2 days! God will allow us to get up early, get to the airport, check in in time, and board our flight. We thank Him in advance.

It will be a short vacation, but God will enable us to have good health and strength to achieve this trip.

He is faithful

Fasting

The latest book I have been reading and “digesting”. It’s very informative and inspiring. I’ve been reading this while intermittently listening to my Wonder Bible

Aging Really isn’t for Sissies

Being at an interesting threshold of life, I find myself going to the doctor more often. This is not anyone’s favorite thing to do. It seems, since I had the lapband removed five months ago, I, now, have to take not one, but 2 antacids daily just to maintain.I was sure all the tummy pains and other distasteful symptoms were something worse than a diagnosis that merely requires multiple antacids. (Shucks, it would have been more dramatic and my reactions to all my pains could have been better justified)

Yes! I have more joint pains than I did five months ago. This is definitely not nice. In addition, the state where we live has doctors asking a phrase I’ve never been asked. They ask if I’m “postmenopausal”. Being 2018, I’ve read more, heard more on television, and seen commercials that make me ask myself this question, and ask myself the definition of postmenopausal. Well, I certainly am. Now, I wonder about the doctors who ask me. They can see my written age and birth-date in front of them. They can see the bits of small gray stripes in my hair, right? How about this clue? I’m taking high blood pressure pills, anti-joint pain pills, and more than one antacid daily.

This development has only happened in the last five months. My body is rebelling. I’m upset about it. This frustrates me in all areas of my life. (my poor hubby)

I’m caught between wanting to investigate more into fasting as a health AND a Spiritual practice, merely doing it as a health practice (which would be awfully difficult with my “healthy big eater” of a husband in the house, and just contending with pills and more pills from the doctor.

Somehow, I’m thinking this will be more of a one day at a time adventure. This will assure some days being worse than others. I’m reminded of the term: “Hang on! This is going to be a bumpy ride!”

Oh!! In the journey of knife, spoon and fork, there is a twist: my preacher has asked me to do some cooking every week at church for 30 to 50 people. This promises to be quite the ministry. It will take God, Himself, to help me as I create menus and cook while battling stomach problems, and health issues because of food. I must continue to remind myself of the Psalm 121:1 “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help” and God, You Alone, literally “lift my head” as stated in Psalm 3:3.

Wonder Bible

I have been listening to the new product that reads the entire Bible to you. I like it. The first five books of the Bible (King James Version) really reflect the entire Bible- all 66 books of it.

Ohio is in a bit of a “thaw”. We are going out more….Yay!

UP-date

Since last you heard, I left cold Ohio and drove to sunny Florida: alone.

Yippee! I stayed a few days and drove back out of

  1. obligation
  2. Fear of an unknown future
  3. More stuff…….

So, the happy go lucky gal I was on my vacation isn’t who I am now, but I do appreciate my own home, my own cleaning, my own cooking……..

But!!!! With this cold weather and my arthritis and aches and pains, everything is so difficult. It’s not nice.

Whilest working on our marriage, it’s a quandry as to when or if I’ll ever be in “renew my vows” mode again. I have been an integral partner in paying bills and taking care of business with my husband.

Two days from now is Valentine’s Day. Wonder what that will hold?????